Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
