At least make sure they are 18
Why
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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