so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
