When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
