First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
