She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
