I'm eating all of the evidence.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm at about main and main street
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
