And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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