Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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