I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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