I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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