I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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