the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
