How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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