Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
