my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
