well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
