God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
