I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
