When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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