if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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