Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
