He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
