Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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