You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize