She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
