If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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