You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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