I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
