Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
