I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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