I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
