The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
