I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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