Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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