Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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