Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
