I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
