I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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