I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
