PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
