I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
