Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
