This girl is more easily done than said...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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