i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
