girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
