Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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