I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
