My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize