I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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