glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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