Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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