My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
