Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
