You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
