So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
