I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
